


Be Strong

by SuckerForAngst24 (SuckerForLove24)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 02:00:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20958587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuckerForLove24/pseuds/SuckerForAngst24
Summary: Kara Danvers is dealing with intrusive thoughts, it doesn't go well. Thankfully her family is there for her.





	Be Strong

**Author's Note:**

> Going through some stuff so naturally I made my favorite characters go through it too. This is definitely a sensitive subject which is why I put it with my angst even though it's more just, sad. Please take care of yourself when reading if you do read it. It does deal with an attempted suicide, sorta, so please be careful. It does have a happy ending, but it takes a bit. Hope this can help someone like it helped me when I wrote it! 💛

"Get it together Kara, get it together." Kara began to mumble to herself as she flew high above National City. "You can't fall apart. People are counting on you. The city is counting on you. You can't fall. You can't just fall out of the sky. Right? What would happen if you did? National City would lose Supergirl. Alex and J'onn would lose Supergirl. Lena would lose you, Kara. Lena doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve anymore pain. Anymore hurt in her life. You said you'd be there for her. You can't leave her. You have to be there for her. You have to be strong." 

Kara managed to shake the thoughts away and keep herself from doing something stupid. She's alive for another day. She'll worry about tomorrow later. 

*Later*

"Dammit Kara. You can't keep doing this." She muttered to herself once again flying in the night sky above National City "You decided this yesterday. You were gonna live for Lena. If for no other reason than she doesn't deserve it. Your best friend doesn't deserve that. You have to be strong for her. You must be strong." She managed to convince herself once again to stay alive. To not just fall out of the sky.

Kara didn't want to fall out of the sky. She wasn't depressed or anything. She just, had this voice telling her to do this. Telling her no one would care. Telling her to fall out of the sky. It wasn't just when she was flying. When she would drive her car, she'd hear the voice saying to crash the car. No one would care. She had to convince herself that it was lying. That people would care. That it would be stupid to do that. At first it was easy. Just a simple no would make it go away. That was weeks ago. Now it was a struggle just to find the word. She knows it's stupid. That people would miss her. But it's getting harder and harder to fight. She doesn't know how much more she can take. Fighting villains was no problem. Surviving kryptonite no big deal. But this, this terrified her. Kara didn't know how much longer she could be strong. 

*a week later*

The thoughts are almost constant. Kara barely mentioned it to Lena. She said it scared her. That it worried her, but she didn't go into the extent of it. Lena told her to breathe, that everything would be okay. But Kara couldn't believe it, believe that it would be okay. She wanted it gone. She didn't want to deal with this anymore. She didn't want to fight any longer. She couldn't be strong any more.   
With that realization, she began to drop out of the sky. She felt the wind on her back. Her cape wrapping around her. She felt free. At peace. Finally able to breathe. To relax. To not have to fight. To not have to be at war with herself. To not have to be strong any more. She fell and fell, down to Earth, just outside of National City, near the DEO desert base. 

"It'll be okay Kara, it'll be okay" 

Kara knew she had finally snapped. She swore it was Lena's voice telling her it'll be okay. Before she could do anything though, she hit the ground.   
"AAAAAHHHHHHHH" Kara screamed as the impact shook her through her core. "Something is broken, it has to be" Kara thought to herself. She wasn't used to pain, not since being on Earth. The last thing she saw before blacking out was a cloud of dust settling back to Earth. Despite the pain she was in, Kara felt at peace for the first time in weeks. 

*DEO Desert Base*

"What the hell happened to her?" J'onn asked a medic as they ran along side the gourney with Supergirl lifelessly laying on it. "We don't know. We got a notification of something flying into our airspace, but before we could do anything we saw it fall and hit the ground. We sent a team out to investigate and they discovered it was Supergirl. We called you immediately after finding out." Replied the medic

"Dear God. It's good that you called me. Do whatever you need to to keep her alive. Let me notify Alex. This won't be pretty." J'onn said as he walked away after squeezing Kara's hand, subtlely showing his care for her. He thought of her like a daughter. He promised Jeremiah that he would look after them. That he would keep Alex and Kara safe. 

He loved them. He loved them both with all his heart. Now what was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to tell Alex that her sister might die? How could he live with himself if Kara didn't survive? If she was no longer...

J'onn knew that train of thought wouldn't help anything. He snapped himself out of it and called Alex. 

"Alex, it's J'onn. You need to get to the DEO Desert Base immediately. Kara's been hurt."  
"WHAT!? YOU'RE KIDDING RIGHT? THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE! Please tell me this is some cruel sick joke. A way of hazing me or something. Or you forgot when April fools is. Please, is she okay?"  
"We don't know yet, just get here as fast as you can."  
"I'm already on my way"

Kara slowly tried to open her eyes, all she could see was bright yellow light. She knew people were around her talking, but she couldn't make out the words. It was as if they were all muffled, but she also heard a loud high pitched ringing. She tried to speak but nothing came out. She tried to move but soon realized just how much pain she was in. She let out a shriek alerting the nurse that she was awake, and in pain. 

Alex rushed over to Kara as soon as she heard noise. She grabbed her hand and squeezed it as she rambled to Kara. 

"Kara, oh Kara sweetie, it's gonna be okay. We are gonna find whoever did this to you. We are gonna catch them and keep them from hurting you ever again. I'm gonna protect you. Everything is gonna be okay. I'm just so glad you're alive." 

With that last sentence Kara broke down in tears. She couldn't speak and could barely move, but nothing was stopping her tears. She cried at full volume. No one, not even Alex, had heard her cry like this before. Alex would hear her cry herself to asleep at night when she first arrived on Earth. Alex understood, she missed her family, her planet, her home. But it was never like this. Never uncontrolled. No matter how wild and crazy Kara seemed, she was always in control. She had to be. If she lost control she could hurt someone, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. But now, she lost all control, all inhibition. She let it all out, and it didn't seem to stop. 

"Kara sweetie, calm down. You're safe now. It's okay. Breathe. Can you breathe for me?" Alex tried to talk Kara down, to keep her from doing any more damage than the sick bastards who'd done this to her had, but it was to no avail. Kara couldn't stop crying. They eventually had to use a sedative to calm her down and keep her from breaking the bed. "Shhhhhhhh Kara. It's gonna be okay, I got you. Just breathe, I got you." Alex whispered as she held Kara close to her. Alex was eager to make whoever did this pay, but right now she needed to be there with her sister. 

"Someone needs to tell Lena. She already knows about us, and about Kara's secret. She needs to involved. She needs to be here. Kara needs her here." Alex told J'onn after Kara finally fell asleep

"You're right. I'll have Agent Dox send her a message and a team to pick her up and bring her here ASAP." J'onn left to find Brainy, leaving Alex alone with Kara and the machines keeping her alive. 

Kara was considered indestructible, so the damage she sustained was quite shocking to the DEO. She had what looked like hairline fractures on every bone, making it agony to move. Along with the bones her organs are bruised and are working over time to keep her alive. Even though it would hurt tremendously for now, after a few days under the yellow sun lamps Kara would be good as new. Everyone was still worried though. How did she sustain these injuries? What caused her to fall out of the sky? What allowed her to get hurt? It seemed almost as if she turned human and right before the impact she tried to become super, but wasn't quick enough. It seemed like she didn't want to be super. Like she didn't want to be strong. 

Kara woke once again to the blinding yellow lights, but the ringing had stopped. She tried to move but everything was sore, like every muscle had been strained. It was no where near as much pain as she was in before, but it still bothered her. It still hurt. 

"Lena?" She used all her energy to talk, causing her to start coughing. 

"KARA! OH MY GOD! YOU'RE UP" Lena exclaimed while grabbing Kara's hand and squeezing it tight. "ALEX, J'ONN, SHE'S UP!" Lena yelled out the door. 

"Oh my god, I was so worried about you. I thought you were dead. These men in black showed up at my office and said I needed to come with them and I almost called security until I recognized Brainy and then he said you were hurt and I started to panic and we got here and you weren't breathing on your own you were on machines and Alex was crying and-"

"Lena, why don't we get you something to eat while Alex talks to Kara" J'onn said calmingly. J'onn and Lena left the room leaving Alex alone with Kara.

"Hey, you feeling okay?" Alex asked grabbing Kara's hand. She didn't know what to say. The only time Kara had been this hurt was after her fight with Reign, and even then at least they had some idea of what caused it. With this, they had no clue. None of it made sense. There was nothing around Supergirl when she fell, no signs of foul play. It looked like she just fell out of the sky. None of them could believe it, but the only thing that made sense was that Kara just stopped flying. That she decided to fall. Alex refused to believe it. Kara wouldn't do that. Kara was happy, wasn't she? The only time people do that stuff is when they want to die, and Kara didn't want to die, right?

"Hurt" Kara mumbled

"It's okay sweetie, we are gonna catch whoever did this to you. I swear we will, no matter what it takes, we'll get the sick bastards who did this." Alex began to rant, but before she could get any further Kara told her to stop. Alex kept going, Kara said stop again. Alex didn't, she kept saying how she'll make them pay. How no one gets away with hurting her sister. Once again Kara said stop, a little louder, more force behind it. Alex wasn't listening. "Stop, please" but Alex didn't. She couldn't hear Kara over her ranting. Kara began to beg, pleading with her to stop, trying to tell Alex the truth, but she didn't hear. Alex kept going on and on until-

"I DID IT" Kara shouted as Lena and J'onn walked into the room.

"What?" Alex asked, completely dumbfound

"I did it. I made myself fall. I stopped flying. I knew I would crash and I did it anyway. I did it. There's no bad guy to catch. No one to punish. It was me. It was all me." Kara rolled onto her side, facing away from Alex, and began to sob quietly. She didn't want anyone to touch her. She didn't deserve comfort. She did this to herself. She deserved it. Kara believed she deserved all this pain. 

"Hey, look at me" Lena said gently, staring lovingly into Kara's eyes. "You do not deserve this. No matter what you did, what you've done in the past, you don't deserve this. You don't deserve this pain. This isn't a punishment. It's okay to get help. It's okay to let us help you. It's okay to let me help you. You don't have to do it alone. You don't have be strong alone. It'll be okay Kara, it'll be okay" 

Lena placed her hand on Kara's head and began to stroke her hair, slowly, tenderly. In that moment Kara accepted she would be okay, that someday it would be okay, but for right now, all she could do was cry. 

Kara cried quietly. Everyone left the room, leaving Lena alone to comfort Kara. They knew she would be safe with Lena. At first they didn't trust her, she was a Luthor after all, but Kara never doubted her, not for a second. Kara was always there for Lena, always a shoulder to cry on, a hand to lift her up, always strong for when she was weak. Now it is her turn to return the favor, now it is Lena's turn to be strong.   
Kara explained everything to them. The thoughts, the struggle, her true feelings. It was hard for her, for all of them. Alex and Nia cried almost as much as Lena. J'onn was sympathetic and a few tears streamed down his cheek. The most surprising reaction was Brainy's. He cried, not as much as the girls, but the fact he cried surprised them. They didn't know he could. He explained to Kara he knew what it felt like to feel at war with yourself. To think it would be easier to just stop. And it is easier, that's what makes living so hard. You have to fight when you can't anymore. It's a never ending battle when you don't have the strength to fight. 

*a week later*

After Kara had been healed physically, she was checked into a mental hospital an hour out of National City. It was the number one in the country. The staff was really nice and promised to keep Kara's secret. Kelly knew some of the doctors along with Alex and Eliza. They knew Kara was in safe hands. 

Kara was worried, worried about what might happen. Would they be able to help her? What if she tried to do something again? Would they be able to stop her? Despite all of her fears, Kara went in willingly. She knew it was for the best, that she would be okay. 

It was a long term facility. The shortest time Kara could be there was two weeks. Kara resisted at first, insisting that she was fine. That she didn't need medication. That she didn't need help. That she was strong and could handle it. It wasn't until after her first visit that she accepted help. The visit was with Alex and Lena. Normally it was only one at a time, but Alex pulled some strings. There was something they needed to say together. 

"Kara, we know this sucks. We know you want to help everyone, that you want to leave cause National City needs Supergirl. We know Supergirl is important, but you are too. Kara Danvers is important. It is okay to accept help, to lean on us. That's what we're here for. We want to help you. We love you. Let us love you."

Kara cried hearing those words. They weren't anything exceptional, no groundbreaking ideas. But they were exactly what she needed. They were exactly right. She wasn't sure what she would do without them. Without her sister and her best friend. She wouldn't be here today without them. 

*a month later*

Kara was in the mental hospital for five weeks. It was long and hard and it sucked being away, but she knew it was for the best. Her whole family showed up to take her home. Alex, Eliza, J'onn, Nia, Brainy, and Lena. Kara was worried she would lose Lena. That she would scare her off. That she would be too much to handle. But Lena was there every step of the way. Every visiting day. Every phone call. Every little bump in the road, Lena was there for Kara. 

On the way home, amongst all the excitement and talking about pot stickers and pizza, Kara realized something. She wasn't alone. She didn't have to be strong by herself. Her strength came from her family. They all lifted each other up when someone was on the ground. She now truly understood what her mother always said.   
"El Mayarah"  
Stronger Together


End file.
